"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it" - Margaret Thatcher 7 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I went through hell for 4 of those 7 years. But in year 5 things started going well. I found my will to live again. I gained confidence, love for life and tenacity. I learned who I was, who my friends were, and how to accept what I had been through and almost move on. Recently, however, I feel like I'm falling back into where I was 7 years ago. I am demotivated, sick of people, of life and my circumstances. To put it plainly, I'm tired of fighting through my life. I feel like I'm falling... What do you do when you fall back to that place you were? When you feel like you're about to give up...again. I want to tell you today, from a place of experience, heartache and genuine compassion, that you are NOT failing at life. You are ...

I was never the girl to get noticed. I never got asked to dances, I was never invited to events, and I was never missed. No one would even call to ask where I was, or if I was okay. I've never really had good friends. Sure, I have a group of friends I spend time with. But I'm always the last choice. I'm the friend that has to fall behind in a group of three when a sidewalk is only big enough for two. I'm the extra. I wanted for so long to be the first choice. To have someone want to spend time with me, not feel obligated to. I wanted to be seen and liked. I searched for acceptance every second. And it was exhausting! See, I am already a first choice. I am God's first choice! And so are you. Every tear you cry He catches without you knowing. Every time you sit alone He is next to you. Every time you are ignored He notices you. Why value the opinion of people when you already have His acceptance? You are worth more than anything in the world, and yet you choose ...

What if I can't keep it together all the time? Sure, I put on a good show: smile a lot, pretend things don't bother me, shrug people's excuses off. But what if it's actually tearing me apart that I'm constantly excluded? What if I am too self conscious to attend parties, events, or even to walk outside because I keep being pushed aside for someone better? If my supposed friends don't want me, then who ever will. What if people see through my lies? What if they see I'm not okay. Then I'll look weak. I'll be a performance they love to watch. What if you stopped listening to yourself? Sometimes, we are our own worst enemies. The mind is an incredibly powerful thing, with the ability to shape us, or break us. Every morning I go through that same rhyme in my head: people hate me, I'm alone, no one actually wants to spend time with me....cool lets go to varsity. Every morning I put myself down. Why? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Even if t...

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. There are just weeks that push me down and make me feel like I can't breathe. Life is so overwhelming, and there is so much pressure placed on us. Pressure to excel in school/varsity/work, pressure to look good, pressure to have a good body, pressure to be confident, to eat healthy, to be kind and generous....it never ends. And as a result, we become hard on ourselves and grow a hatred when we cannot always achieve these things. We begin to believe we are not good enough and should just stop trying... When life becomes choppy and you cannot see over the waves, when you feel overwhelmed and anxiety takes over, when your chest becomes tight and you cannot breathe....just stop. Stop and take a deep breath. Clear your mind. You do not have to meet anyone's expectations! Your abilities are so much better than their expectations. You have nothing to prove, not to yourself or anyone else! Don't put yourself down for not being perfect. Imper...

Where do you find your identity? If someone had to ask you to describe yourself, what would you say? Is your identity in your looks? Your work? Your family? For a very long time I put my identity in my achievements. In my marks. I felt that I wasn't good enough to be identified with anything else, because there was nothing else I excelled in. I was my achievements. And if I didn't achieve, I would completely break. I'd feel worthless, like I didn't try hard enough or simply didn't deserve anything. It's very dangerous and draining placing your identity in something other than yourself and who God made you to be. You were crafted and designed by someone who took the time to design you the way you are, with all your quirks and interests. Don't identify yourself with something that will let you down. My marks let me down sometimes and I felt broken and forgotten. As if people wouldn't like me unless I had something to show for myself. But once I put my id...

Right now I'm sitting under a tree. I know this doesn't sound particularly profound, but it's not something I often do. I am not the most outdoorsy person, but even I cannot deny the beauty of a tree. As the wind blows, it gives small groans. It sound s like it's in pain. And the rustling leaves sounds like soft music. It's incredibly peaceful and awe inspiring... A tree is really strong. It's built to endure and survive. But it is also stunningly beautiful. How creative is God?! He designed the most beautiful and stable creation. And if He made a tree so strong and stunning, how much better didn't He make us? We also endure tough storms in our lives and have to fight through wind, rain and thunder. But we, like a tree, survive. We are undeniably strong and capable of amazing things. I have many scars, like a tree has flaws in its bark. The flaws are what makes the tree, and us, unique and lovely. It gives strength and character and is a reminder to keep f...

Everyday I wake up, I have a routine. I drag myself to the kettle to make coffee, get back into bed and go on social media for a while, before actually looking in the mirror for the first time. Who else gets a fright? I mean, frizzy hair, makeup smudges and eye-bags aren't the most attractive features. It takes me about an hour to make myself appear presentable, before I head out for the day. This routine includes makeup, a ghd, changing my outfit multiple times and 'bathing' in perfume and spray on. I'm sure you have a routine too. But have you ever wanted to just...Be? No worries about how you look? No makeup, no hours of preparation. Just simply being. Life is stressful and it's easy to lose ourselves to routine. It gets so bad that we cannot leave our houses without at least an hour's notice, so that we can splash on products which we wash off at night. Does it really make sense? Today's post is not so much of a message as a challenge. I challenge you ...