I stared down the barrel of change in the past few days, the philosophy that by changing yourself, your lifestyle and your patterns that you somehow become a better person. You keep your insecurities to yourself, re-plaster the emotional walls that you have built, and let go of people who bring you down. Change is inevitable, it’s part of life, but Is change good? Does changing yourself change your situation, your acceptance by society, your health? There are countless articles and quotes stating: Do not change yourself for anyone. Society has us in an invisible room, a comfortable room. A room which makes us feel safe and grounded, taken care of and accepted, even if the foundation of this room is built on insecurities, comparison and unreachable standards. Stay as you are, they tell us, then bombard us with appearance issues, weight control images and mental health stigmas. All of the above, including a recent self-loathing, has led me to think: What if change yourself isn’t...

Relationships. That word scares me. Not because of commitment or work or time, but because it's something foreign to me. I don't know what it's like to be committed and therefore I commit to anything. I always prayed about being the right girlfriend: being supportive and positive, strong, independent, healed. Being perfect. Yesterday the truth finally hit me and I'm writing from a place of understanding, pain, but hope and newfound grace because I now understand, without a doubt, why a relationship is so foreign to me. 'Walk like a wife and your husband will find you'. That's an incredibly terrifying quote, because it reveals the fundamental underlying fact of relationships: getting married. And I realised that the biggest blessing I could ever have asked for was to be single thus far. Truth is, you shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, but a husband or wife. And once you realise that, everything changes. You understand that love is more ...

Have you ever felt like your stuck, or in a ditch? You've tried to claw your way out, but you keep falling back in. You're waiting or someone to grab your hand and pull you out, or hand you a ladder to make your climb out easier. You're waiting for someone to save you. I've been here so many times. Stuck, alone and afraid. Waiting for a hero to save me. Sometimes I feel like I live in this ditch, but that no one is coming to help. And I know that so many people reading this are in that place right now. That you're worried you're not strong enough. That the climb is too high. The time is too little or the troubles too great. Truth is, there will be bad days. There will be times your ditch seems deeper, your fall greater or your climb more difficult. There will be tears and screams, anger and confusion...but there will also be good days. Days where your ditch isn't so deep, and the climb not so challenging. BUT, the difficult climbs are revealing something I...

Social Anxiety. S.A.D. I wish beyond belief that this didn't exist. Through everything life has thrown at me, this is one of the worst. To constantly second guess yourself and your relationships is torture, but it doesn't have to be this way. After noticing many, many new articles and posts online regarding S.A.D myths, I thought I would set the record straight with a few facts and tricks on how to regulate this in your life. 1. S.A.D vs texting Texting is a normal thing, right. To conduct conversation. Sometimes, though, even such a mundane task sends flames of fear through my heart. I am usually one of two people: The over-texter Have you ever sent a message, looked back and thought, "Why the hell did I send that?". Well, that's me EVERY TIME. Every single message I send becomes a little mental game: have I said the right thing? Have I said too much? Should I stop talking? Should I send more? Thank goodness for the 'delete message' button, am I righ...

I have suffered many scars in the course of 7 years; mental scars, emotional scars, and physical scars. I see my scars and experiences as pieces of progress and character, but I didn't always feel this way. For a long time I tried to hide the pained side of me, and it's much easier to hide the invisible scars than the visible ones. The scars from my self harm are far more visible than my emotional scars. Today I want to encourage you by sharing how I turned my self harm into self love and learned to accept every part of myself, good or bad. Why do people self harm? This is different for everyone! I did it because it made me feel something. My disorders made me numb - my cuts made me feel. However, this feeling of 'feeling something' doesn't last. Self harm does more harm than good. The reasoning behind the self-inflicted pain is different for everyone, but I can guarantee that the results never live up to expectation! After time, they just add more pain and sham...

You're ugly. You're worthless. Why are you even alive? You mean nothing and never will. Don't even try because you'll fail. You'll never be happy. No one will ever love you... I have heard these words more than I can count. When I was 13 I started experiencing intense bullying, both physical and verbal. To be told these things every day, no matter how hard you try, you start to believe them. No one ever told me any different, so what was I, as a young teenager, to believe? I started to hate myself. I mean HATE myself. I fully believed that I would never accomplish anything and that my life was a mistake. To be honest, sometimes I still do. Words are incredibly, ferociously powerful! They have the power to build or destroy you. And it is so true and so sad that you are more likely to believe what others tell you then what you tell yourself. In 11th grade I decided something had to change. I couldn't live hating life, and I wanted to prove those people wrong. Lo...

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. There are just weeks that push me down and make me feel like I can't breathe. Life is so overwhelming, and there is so much pressure placed on us. Pressure to excel in school/varsity/work, pressure to look good, pressure to have a good body, pressure to be confident, to eat healthy, to be kind and generous....it never ends. And as a result, we become hard on ourselves and grow a hatred when we cannot always achieve these things. We begin to believe we are not good enough and should just stop trying... When life becomes choppy and you cannot see over the waves, when you feel overwhelmed and anxiety takes over, when your chest becomes tight and you cannot breathe....just stop. Stop and take a deep breath. Clear your mind. You do not have to meet anyone's expectations! Your abilities are so much better than their expectations. You have nothing to prove, not to yourself or anyone else! Don't put yourself down for not being perfect. Imper...

Where do you find your identity? If someone had to ask you to describe yourself, what would you say? Is your identity in your looks? Your work? Your family? For a very long time I put my identity in my achievements. In my marks. I felt that I wasn't good enough to be identified with anything else, because there was nothing else I excelled in. I was my achievements. And if I didn't achieve, I would completely break. I'd feel worthless, like I didn't try hard enough or simply didn't deserve anything. It's very dangerous and draining placing your identity in something other than yourself and who God made you to be. You were crafted and designed by someone who took the time to design you the way you are, with all your quirks and interests. Don't identify yourself with something that will let you down. My marks let me down sometimes and I felt broken and forgotten. As if people wouldn't like me unless I had something to show for myself. But once I put my id...

Right now I'm sitting under a tree. I know this doesn't sound particularly profound, but it's not something I often do. I am not the most outdoorsy person, but even I cannot deny the beauty of a tree. As the wind blows, it gives small groans. It sound s like it's in pain. And the rustling leaves sounds like soft music. It's incredibly peaceful and awe inspiring... A tree is really strong. It's built to endure and survive. But it is also stunningly beautiful. How creative is God?! He designed the most beautiful and stable creation. And if He made a tree so strong and stunning, how much better didn't He make us? We also endure tough storms in our lives and have to fight through wind, rain and thunder. But we, like a tree, survive. We are undeniably strong and capable of amazing things. I have many scars, like a tree has flaws in its bark. The flaws are what makes the tree, and us, unique and lovely. It gives strength and character and is a reminder to keep f...

Everyday I wake up, I have a routine. I drag myself to the kettle to make coffee, get back into bed and go on social media for a while, before actually looking in the mirror for the first time. Who else gets a fright? I mean, frizzy hair, makeup smudges and eye-bags aren't the most attractive features. It takes me about an hour to make myself appear presentable, before I head out for the day. This routine includes makeup, a ghd, changing my outfit multiple times and 'bathing' in perfume and spray on. I'm sure you have a routine too. But have you ever wanted to just...Be? No worries about how you look? No makeup, no hours of preparation. Just simply being. Life is stressful and it's easy to lose ourselves to routine. It gets so bad that we cannot leave our houses without at least an hour's notice, so that we can splash on products which we wash off at night. Does it really make sense? Today's post is not so much of a message as a challenge. I challenge you ...

It's easy to become what others say you are: that you are not good at what you do. That you are not worth being around. That you have made too many mistakes to be a good person. That you have failed too many times to be a success...They put you in a mold, and bending to shape is too easy. I used to drown in these thoughts. The lies that others tell you to put you down, so that they can lift themselves up. Trying to make you forget your worth. People can be cruel. It's so easy for others to make someone feel like they aren't worth anything. They create a mold around that person, and they just slip right into their shape. What's difficult is acknowledging the lies, standing your ground, and being strong through it all. Difficult as this is, it's also critical to valuing yourself. Don't accept the mold others put you in. Be strong and different enough to simply not fit. Why is it so easy to accept lies and reject the truth? When someone used to compliment me, a m...