Choose yourself first

I was never the girl to get noticed. I never got asked to dances, I was never invited to events, and I was never missed. No one would even call to ask where I was, or if I was okay.
I've never really had good friends. Sure, I have a group of friends I spend time with. But I'm always the last choice. I'm the friend that has to fall behind in a group of three when a sidewalk is only big enough for two. I'm the extra.

I wanted for so long to be the first choice. To have someone want to spend time with me, not feel obligated to. I wanted to be seen and liked. I searched for acceptance every second. And it was exhausting!
See, I am already a first choice. I am God's first choice! And so are you. Every tear you cry He catches without you knowing. Every time you sit alone He is next to you. Every time you are ignored He notices you. Why value the opinion of people when you already have His acceptance? You are worth more than anything in the world, and yet you choose to let society dictate who you are and your value?
Some people may think I've missed out on many moments in life. But I see the opposite. I've had time to get to know me, to find myself and discover who I am without having to depend on anyone. And I love who I found. She isn't perfect, or particularly outgoing. But she's tough, she's confident in herself and is comfortable enough addressing her weaknesses. I think she's pretty okay. And having time to focus on yourself is the best gift you will ever give yourself!

In many ways, I am still the same girl. I've never been on a date. I've never been asked to a dance. I'm still not invited to many things. I'm still the last choice. But I'm okay with it. I value and know myself enough to know that the right guy is waiting for me. I know that I just have to wait a little longer than most to open up to people and be noticed. And that's okay. I'm still worth loving. And I am loved by someone who created love, who smiles at me every day and chooses me first!

Don't get caught up in your popularity status. It's okay not to be the most popular person in the room. But never never never degrade yourself based on your popularity! You are amazing, and if no one else notices, know that God does! And He is soo proud of you for making it this far!

Stay strong and keep being your beautiful self. The right friends will come...good things come to those who wait with anticipation.

Xx

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