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I stared down the barrel of change in the past few days, the philosophy that by changing yourself, your lifestyle and your patterns that you somehow become a better person. You keep your insecurities to yourself, re-plaster the emotional walls that you have built, and let go of people who bring you down. Change is inevitable, it’s part of life, but Is change good? Does changing yourself change your situation, your acceptance by society, your health? There are countless articles and quotes stating: Do not change yourself for anyone. Society has us in an invisible room, a comfortable room. A room which makes us feel safe and grounded, taken care of and accepted, even if the foundation of this room is built on insecurities, comparison and unreachable standards. Stay as you are, they tell us, then bombard us with appearance issues, weight control images and mental health stigmas. All of the above, including a recent self-loathing, has led me to think: What if change yourself isn’t
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Being Single Through The Wait

Relationships. That word scares me. Not because of commitment or work or time, but because it's something foreign to me. I don't know what it's like to be committed and therefore I commit to anything. I always prayed about being the right girlfriend: being supportive and positive, strong, independent, healed. Being perfect. Yesterday the truth finally hit me and I'm writing from a place of understanding, pain, but hope and newfound grace because I now understand, without a doubt, why a relationship is so foreign to me. 'Walk like a wife and your husband will find you'. That's an incredibly terrifying quote, because it reveals the fundamental underlying fact of relationships: getting married. And I realised that the biggest blessing I could ever have asked for was to be single thus far. Truth is, you shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, but a husband or wife. And once you realise that, everything changes. You understand that love is more

Waiting For a Hero

Have you ever felt like your stuck, or in a ditch? You've tried to claw your way out, but you keep falling back in. You're waiting or someone to grab your hand and pull you out, or hand you a ladder to make your climb out easier. You're waiting for someone to save you. I've been here so many times. Stuck, alone and afraid. Waiting for a hero to save me. Sometimes I feel like I live in this ditch, but that no one is coming to help. And I know that so many people reading this are in that place right now. That you're worried you're not strong enough. That the climb is too high. The time is too little or the troubles too great. Truth is, there will be bad days. There will be times your ditch seems deeper, your fall greater or your climb more difficult. There will be tears and screams, anger and confusion...but there will also be good days. Days where your ditch isn't so deep, and the climb not so challenging. BUT, the difficult climbs are revealing something I

Social Anxiety vs. Relationships

Social Anxiety. S.A.D. I wish beyond belief that this didn't exist. Through everything life has thrown at me, this is one of the worst. To constantly second guess yourself and your relationships is torture, but it doesn't have to be this way. After noticing many, many new articles and posts online regarding S.A.D myths, I thought I would set the record straight with a few facts and tricks on how to regulate this in your life. 1. S.A.D vs texting Texting is a normal thing, right. To conduct conversation. Sometimes, though, even such a mundane task sends flames of fear through my heart. I am usually one of two people: The over-texter Have you ever sent a message, looked back and thought, "Why the hell did I send that?". Well, that's me EVERY TIME. Every single message I send becomes a little mental game: have I said the right thing? Have I said too much? Should I stop talking? Should I send more? Thank goodness for the 'delete message' button, am I righ

Taking charge of your everyday anxiety like a pro

Anxiety is something that affects many, many people. Statistics show that it is the most common disorder in the world, but that many people do not know how to handle it. If you have anxiety, as I do, then you will know how difficult it is to live with daily. A lot of people I speak to think that anxiety is just something that affects us when disaster strikes, and that is the furthest from the truth. Many days, I am anxious for absolutely no reason, and it's the most frustrating thing in the world for me! The thought that I can't have a normal day because I'm sickeningly anxious about...nothing. Recently, though, I have adopted a few methods which I use to cope with everyday anxiety, especially now going back into work/school/varsity. It's somewhat easier to cope with anxiety when everyday stressors aren't there, but how do you continue coping when the year goes back to normal? As painful as anxiety is to live with, I have found that it is somewhat manageable. He

Turning self harm into self love

I have suffered many scars in the course of 7 years; mental scars, emotional scars, and physical scars. I see my scars and experiences as pieces of progress and character, but I didn't always feel this way. For a long time I tried to hide the pained side of me, and it's much easier to hide the invisible scars than the visible ones. The scars from my self harm are far more visible than my emotional scars. Today I want to encourage you by sharing how I turned my self harm into self love and learned to accept every part of myself, good or bad. Why do people self harm? This is different for everyone! I did it because it made me feel something. My disorders made me numb - my cuts made me feel. However, this feeling of 'feeling something' doesn't last. Self harm does more harm than good. The reasoning behind the self-inflicted pain is different for everyone, but I can guarantee that the results never live up to expectation! After time, they just add more pain and sham

How to get the most out of 2018

I don't know about you, but 2017 was a terrible year for me! Between a ridiculous varsity life, trying to make cash on the side, and having a rollercoaster of a mental health year, I am so ready to let 2017 go. There is no reason that we can't both have an incredible 2018, so here are some things that I am using, putting in place and practicing to build my mental health, feel good about myself and my body, and keep stressors away. 1. Start a Bullet Journal For people, like me, who love to journal but never stick to it, this is a great way to jot down thoughts, make tracking lists and keep a diary...all in one. I know the concept of a bullet journal isn't very new, but I only started doing one a few weeks ago and it's actually incredible how good and grounded I feel. It really allows you to maintain a positive outlook by tracking things you love, and helping you target things you want to improve. Here are a few ideas to add to your journal: Mood trackers Food jou