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Turning self harm into self love

I have suffered many scars in the course of 7 years; mental scars, emotional scars, and physical scars. I see my scars and experiences as pieces of progress and character, but I didn't always feel this way. For a long time I tried to hide the pained side of me, and it's much easier to hide the invisible scars than the visible ones. The scars from my self harm are far more visible than my emotional scars. Today I want to encourage you by sharing how I turned my self harm into self love and learned to accept every part of myself, good or bad.

Why do people self harm? This is different for everyone! I did it because it made me feel something. My disorders made me numb - my cuts made me feel. However, this feeling of 'feeling something' doesn't last. Self harm does more harm than good. The reasoning behind the self-inflicted pain is different for everyone, but I can guarantee that the results never live up to expectation! After time, they just add more pain and shame than relief. I hid behind my pain for a long time, and I let it define me. But there came a time where I realized that I actually had nothing to be shamed of, and neither do you!

When I look at my scars, I no longer see weakness and shame. I see perseverance and resilience. To be resilient means to "strive amidst adversity", and I believe that this fully represents my struggles and victories, and it can represent yours, too. I see scars as:

S  ymbols of
C  ourage
A  nd a
R  esilient
S  pirit

We have overcome so much! Your scars, whether visible or not, do not have to remind you of the pain that WAS, but of the strength that IS. You have nothing to be ashamed of and no reason to hide! Your resilience is so powerful and strong and symbolizes more than any scar ever will. My scars of self harm actaully became my pillars of self love. They remind me:

  • To forgive myself
I am not prefect, and neither are you. But the greatest strength and beauty come from imperfections! Let your journey represent your beauty and resilience, not self hate and loathing. Forgive your flaws and embrace your beautiful self.
  • To look forward
My journey isn't over, but my past is NOT my future. Never let your past define what your future will be! Define your own future and work to create it. Your future is not dependent on your past.
  • To be happy
I have spent so long being unhappy, anxious and down, and I think that we all deserve to feel happy, hopeful and proud of our journey. My scars remind me to have pride in my progress. Every day is progress and worth being proud of!
  • To have faith in myself
I may not be perfect. I may have a past. I may have disorders and I may still need progress...but I have faith in myself to get myself through. Learn to trust yourself, take care of yourself and have courage.


It isn't easy to see a positive side to pain. If you experience self harm in any way, please seek help. Just open up to someone you trust or admire. I promise you, self harm isn't the solution! Love your body. And if your reasoning is to be seen, speak up to your friends and family. Take charge of your feelings and how you want others to see you.

Keep fighting your fight, loving yourself and being resilient!

xx
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