Change

I stared down the barrel of change in the past few days, the philosophy that by changing yourself, your lifestyle and your patterns that you somehow become a better person. You keep your insecurities to yourself, re-plaster the emotional walls that you have built, and let go of people who bring you down. Change is inevitable, it’s part of life, but Is change good? Does changing yourself change your situation, your acceptance by society, your health?

There are countless articles and quotes stating: Do not change yourself for anyone. Society has us in an invisible room, a comfortable room. A room which makes us feel safe and grounded, taken care of and accepted, even if the foundation of this room is built on insecurities, comparison and unreachable standards. Stay as you are, they tell us, then bombard us with appearance issues, weight control images and mental health stigmas. All of the above, including a recent self-loathing, has led me to think: What if change yourself isn’t a bad idea? 

As someone with mental health issues and patterns of my own, I know full well that hiding and covering these issues is easier said than done, much like covering up your weight, scars, or other insecurities. It is virtually impossible to approach any situation normally, for me. My Anxiety Disorder tells me: No one will accept you; my Clinical Depression says: Who cares if no one likes you, you’re better off alone; and society screams: If no one likes you there’s something wrong with you. Tell me then, how does the word CHANGE not cross one’s mind? How do you walk through your day confidently knowing that your imperfections stare everyone in the face…The answer: You most likely don’t, because you believe what you tell yourself. You believe your insecurities. So what if you start telling yourself that you aren’t alone, that you are good enough, and that your insecurities and lack of confidence can change.

Change…I disagree with the statement: Do not change yourself for anyone. It’s flawed. Because the one person I want to impress, please and feel confident for, is myself, and I’ll be damned if anyone tells me I cannot change for myself. Consider this: your bad attitude and negativity, your unhealthy eating patterns, your mental confusion and dependence…whatever it may be that controls your life, you can change it! Now, I am NOT saying that you need to lose weight, change your physical appearance etc. Everyone is beautiful, strong and worth loving. No one is a mistake and everyone is good enough, strong and powerful. What I am saying, is that by changing the inward things about yourself that bring you down, your outward confidence changes. Instead of breaking yourself down, build yourself up. Instead of binge eating snacks, pick up a fruit. Instead of dealing with your anxieties, sorrows or problems alone, send a friend a message. By changing what we can control in order to better ourselves, our mood changes, our friendships change, our minds change, and we can then see our worthiness, power and beauty for ourselves.

Change is not all bad. BUT there is a step too far. Never change yourself out of spite, or guilt. Never change your style, your interests or your personality to suit others. Rather, think of it as growing yourself. Evolve your interests and become more skilled. Improve your negativity and become more strong-willed and joyful. Talk about your problems and become less ashamed and hidden away. So in the upcoming months, I challenge you to join me in becoming the best you, not for anyone else, but for yourself. Change is the ultimate form of self-sacrifice, but also self-improvement. Below are the points I am personally working on. If anyone wants to walk any of the below changes with me, slide into my DM’s :P. No one should hide their life or personal goals or walk them alone. Accountability is step 1 to success.

-        Honesty

-        Weight loss (This is a personal choice, and by no means reflects any thoughts that I believe any weight is superior to another. It is about personal comfort and confidence, not looks or superiority)

-        Positivity

-        Self and body care

-        Fitness

-        Depressive honesty and overcoming

-        Spontaneity

-        Joyfulness

-        Confidence

-        Goal setting

-        Inner peace

I hope that in 2019 the stigma of self-change and improvement vanishes and is replaced by a communal coming together of individuals proud to help and support one another, REGRDLESS OF THE PROBLEM OR PERSONAL GOAL. Change is inevitable, yes, but not always uncontrollable. Make 2019 the year of you, and becoming the person you deserve. Remember, you attract what you give off, so radiate positivity, confidence and motivation.

Stay as beautiful as you are and kick the stigmas in 2019

xx