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Unbroken: What it means to be unbroken with a mental disorder

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At the launch of my Facebook page after tremendous support and views, I thought I would share what the word 'unbroken' means to me and why I chose this as my blog's identity.

I am a 20 year old girl living with 3 mental disorders, and I'm pretty sure if I kept searching I would find more. This is very difficult for me, especially in a society where mental illness and wellness is somewhat of a 'trend'. I am no longer seen as different, but sick. Which I can assure I am not. No one with a mental disorder deserves to be treated as a patient, but with sincerity and normalcy! This is something I feel very strongly about, that no one should walk on eggshells around me.

That saying got me thinking one day. "Walking on eggshells"...if one walks on eggshells it means the eggs are, or are being, broken. Walking on eggshells around someone automatically means thinking they are broken, and treating them as such. Even though I have to deal with anxiety, depression and dermatophagia daily, I do NOT see myself as broken. I do not see myself as someone to be pitied or shamed. I fully know that many, many people have it worse off than me, and I am so desperately and truly sorry for everyone dealing with any disorder...but I do not pity you. I don't want to be pitied and I'm sure you don't either. I want to be seen, respected, treated with care, yes, but not treated as a broken piece of shell. Pity, in my eyes, means that people see weakness where there is actually strength, and loss where there is actually hope. It means disregarding someone's future because of their past...and this is wrong. I want to be seen as someone normal who just needs extra TLC at times, not someone who has lost all hope and strength.

The Japanese have a stunning practice of mending broken items with glue laced with gold. These items are carefully pieced together, and their faults are accentuated with lines of dazzling gold. This is how I see myself. This is what it means to me to be unbroken. It isn't that I've never been that eggshell on the floor; I've been broken so many times that I never wanted to get back up. But I stood up and accentuated my faults, insecurities, pain and brokenness with gold. I am stronger, sturdier and more beautiful than I ever was because I turned my brokenness into beauty.

Nope, this was not easy. It took 7 years and it's still a process I go through every day! But being unbroken doesn't mean never having been broken. It means lacing your brokenness with gold, getting the courage to live an everyday life, which I know is sometimes the toughest battle of all, and walking with strength because you are a powerful warrior. The power you possess far outweighs the power of your disorder. I hope that today you will find your gold and give yourself another chance. Even if you have been broken, you can still shine.

This is Unbroken
xx

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