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So...what's it like?

I got asked an interesting question today, and felt the need to share the answer:

'What's it like, living with a mental disorder everyday'?

This question took me rather by surprise. See, I don't see myself as having disorders. I see them as battles to win and overcome, not live with. Nevertheless, I am going to try to answer this question, speaking personally of course, with as much simplicity as I can.

This, for me, has a 3 part answer. I will discuss a new part over the next 3 days.

1. Depression
What's it like? It's like dying alive. It's like living out of habit rather than want. It's not being able to wash your hair, get out of bed, get dressed or eat without feeling weak and despondent. It's hating being alone, hating being with people...hating being you. It's feeling lonely, hated and forgotten all the time, and fearing being judged and ridiculed. It's craving death and fearing life.
But it's also strength: it's fighting even though you fear winning. It's breathing even though it hurts. It's living without fear of the future. It's being you, when you cannot be anybody else.

I have had Depression for 5 years. I know it's not easy. I know what it's like to hate your life. But I also know what it's like to start loving it again. To get on your train. And being able to help those who cannot help themselves, is something that I am so grateful and happy to do.

Depression is a term very loosely used these days. And it's sad to think of so many people suffering from it. If you have it, stay strong. It's not an easy battle, but it's one you can win! Never underestimate your strength and willpower.
If you don't have it, support those you know that do. Be supportive without being intrusive. Be caring without judging. Love without conditions. And pray without doubt.

Never stop being you. Never lose hope. You are stronger than you think.

Xx

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