Skip to main content

So...what's it like?

I got asked an interesting question today, and felt the need to share the answer:

'What's it like, living with a mental disorder everyday'?

This question took me rather by surprise. See, I don't see myself as having disorders. I see them as battles to win and overcome, not live with. Nevertheless, I am going to try to answer this question, speaking personally of course, with as much simplicity as I can.

This, for me, has a 3 part answer. I will discuss a new part over the next 3 days.

1. Depression
What's it like? It's like dying alive. It's like living out of habit rather than want. It's not being able to wash your hair, get out of bed, get dressed or eat without feeling weak and despondent. It's hating being alone, hating being with people...hating being you. It's feeling lonely, hated and forgotten all the time, and fearing being judged and ridiculed. It's craving death and fearing life.
But it's also strength: it's fighting even though you fear winning. It's breathing even though it hurts. It's living without fear of the future. It's being you, when you cannot be anybody else.

I have had Depression for 5 years. I know it's not easy. I know what it's like to hate your life. But I also know what it's like to start loving it again. To get on your train. And being able to help those who cannot help themselves, is something that I am so grateful and happy to do.

Depression is a term very loosely used these days. And it's sad to think of so many people suffering from it. If you have it, stay strong. It's not an easy battle, but it's one you can win! Never underestimate your strength and willpower.
If you don't have it, support those you know that do. Be supportive without being intrusive. Be caring without judging. Love without conditions. And pray without doubt.

Never stop being you. Never lose hope. You are stronger than you think.

Xx

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unbroken: What it means to be unbroken with a mental disorder

Follow my blog with Bloglovin At the launch of my Facebook page after tremendous support and views, I thought I would share what the word 'unbroken' means to me and why I chose this as my blog's identity. I am a 20 year old girl living with 3 mental disorders, and I'm pretty sure if I kept searching I would find more. This is very difficult for me, especially in a society where mental illness and wellness is somewhat of a 'trend'. I am no longer seen as different, but sick. Which I can assure I am not. No one with a mental disorder deserves to be treated as a patient, but with sincerity and normalcy! This is something I feel very strongly about, that no one should walk on eggshells around me. That saying got me thinking one day. "Walking on eggshells"...if one walks on eggshells it means the eggs are, or are being, broken. Walking on eggshells around someone automatically means thinking they are broken, and treating them as such. Even though I h...
Post a Comment
Read more

Prove Them Wrong

I was always academically inclined at school rather than sporty or popular. Of course, that put an instant target on my back. People mocked me, shunned me and refused to be seen with me. It felt horrible. The worst part was, though, that people looked down on my dream. See, from a young age I was incredibly ambitious. I knew I wasn't going to be an employee, but a boss. So I started working for it. But if you constantly hear that you will never achieve your dreams, you start believing it. My marks started to drop drastically in grades 9 to 11. Granted, I wasn't failing, but I wasn't achieving what I knew I could because I simply believed there to be no point to achieve. I had given up on my ambition. Things started to change in my Matric year. I got my tenacity back. The only explanation I have for this change is prayer and a God who never gave up on me, even when I gave up on myself. I ended up matriculating top of my class, and to be honest I still can't believe i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Being Single Through The Wait

Relationships. That word scares me. Not because of commitment or work or time, but because it's something foreign to me. I don't know what it's like to be committed and therefore I commit to anything. I always prayed about being the right girlfriend: being supportive and positive, strong, independent, healed. Being perfect. Yesterday the truth finally hit me and I'm writing from a place of understanding, pain, but hope and newfound grace because I now understand, without a doubt, why a relationship is so foreign to me. 'Walk like a wife and your husband will find you'. That's an incredibly terrifying quote, because it reveals the fundamental underlying fact of relationships: getting married. And I realised that the biggest blessing I could ever have asked for was to be single thus far. Truth is, you shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, but a husband or wife. And once you realise that, everything changes. You understand that love is more ...
Post a Comment
Read more