Skip to main content

So...what's it like?

I got asked an interesting question today, and felt the need to share the answer:

'What's it like, living with a mental disorder everyday'?

This question took me rather by surprise. See, I don't see myself as having disorders. I see them as battles to win and overcome, not live with. Nevertheless, I am going to try to answer this question, speaking personally of course, with as much simplicity as I can.

This, for me, has a 3 part answer. I will discuss a new part over the next 3 days.

1. Depression
What's it like? It's like dying alive. It's like living out of habit rather than want. It's not being able to wash your hair, get out of bed, get dressed or eat without feeling weak and despondent. It's hating being alone, hating being with people...hating being you. It's feeling lonely, hated and forgotten all the time, and fearing being judged and ridiculed. It's craving death and fearing life.
But it's also strength: it's fighting even though you fear winning. It's breathing even though it hurts. It's living without fear of the future. It's being you, when you cannot be anybody else.

I have had Depression for 5 years. I know it's not easy. I know what it's like to hate your life. But I also know what it's like to start loving it again. To get on your train. And being able to help those who cannot help themselves, is something that I am so grateful and happy to do.

Depression is a term very loosely used these days. And it's sad to think of so many people suffering from it. If you have it, stay strong. It's not an easy battle, but it's one you can win! Never underestimate your strength and willpower.
If you don't have it, support those you know that do. Be supportive without being intrusive. Be caring without judging. Love without conditions. And pray without doubt.

Never stop being you. Never lose hope. You are stronger than you think.

Xx

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Change

I stared down the barrel of change in the past few days, the philosophy that by changing yourself, your lifestyle and your patterns that you somehow become a better person. You keep your insecurities to yourself, re-plaster the emotional walls that you have built, and let go of people who bring you down. Change is inevitable, it’s part of life, but Is change good? Does changing yourself change your situation, your acceptance by society, your health? There are countless articles and quotes stating: Do not change yourself for anyone. Society has us in an invisible room, a comfortable room. A room which makes us feel safe and grounded, taken care of and accepted, even if the foundation of this room is built on insecurities, comparison and unreachable standards. Stay as you are, they tell us, then bombard us with appearance issues, weight control images and mental health stigmas. All of the above, including a recent self-loathing, has led me to think: What if change yourself isn’t...

Being Single Through The Wait

Relationships. That word scares me. Not because of commitment or work or time, but because it's something foreign to me. I don't know what it's like to be committed and therefore I commit to anything. I always prayed about being the right girlfriend: being supportive and positive, strong, independent, healed. Being perfect. Yesterday the truth finally hit me and I'm writing from a place of understanding, pain, but hope and newfound grace because I now understand, without a doubt, why a relationship is so foreign to me. 'Walk like a wife and your husband will find you'. That's an incredibly terrifying quote, because it reveals the fundamental underlying fact of relationships: getting married. And I realised that the biggest blessing I could ever have asked for was to be single thus far. Truth is, you shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend, but a husband or wife. And once you realise that, everything changes. You understand that love is more ...

A Tree

Right now I'm sitting under a tree. I know this doesn't sound particularly profound, but it's not something I often do. I am not the most outdoorsy person, but even I cannot deny the beauty of a tree. As the wind blows, it gives small groans. It sound s like it's in pain. And the rustling leaves sounds like soft music. It's incredibly peaceful and awe inspiring... A tree is really strong. It's built to endure and survive. But it is also stunningly beautiful. How creative is God?! He designed the most beautiful and stable creation. And if He made a tree so strong and stunning, how much better didn't He make us? We also endure tough storms in our lives and have to fight through wind, rain and thunder. But we, like a tree, survive. We are undeniably strong and capable of amazing things. I have many scars, like a tree has flaws in its bark. The flaws are what makes the tree, and us, unique and lovely. It gives strength and character and is a reminder to keep f...